Growing up in The Bronx, I fought a lot. I’ve gotten into many hand to hand scuffles than I can count.
Initially, I was scared. I was a scrawny kid. But it was inevitable that I was going to get into a fight one day. I also knew that the more I tried to avoid getting into fights, the more fights I would find myself in.
Mentally, avoiding fights can take its toll. It produces crippling fear. It makes you over cautious. The predators smell this fear like a shark can smell a drop of blood in the ocean far away.
Eventually I got into my first fight. I got beat up BUT I lost with dignity. But I also gained somethings as well:
- The satisfaction of feeling my fist connect with the flesh and bone of my opponent.
- My freedom from the shackles of groundless fear.
“This is the touchstone of such a spirit; no prizefighter can go with high spirits into the strife if he has never been beaten black and blue; the only contestant who can confidently enter the lists is the man who has seen his own blood, who has felt his teeth rattle beneath his opponent’s fist, who has been tripped and felt the full force of his adversary’s charge, who has been downed in body but not in spirit, one who, as often as he falls, rises again with greater defiance than ever.”Seneca
Once you get into a fight and taste your own blood on you tongue and teeth, you become brave. You lose that groundless fear.
Don’t be afraid to get punched in the mouth. It’s worth it.
Face your fears. You’re going to die anyway.
It’s best you die with dignity.
Here’s the thing though, while facing your fears you won’t die. You’ll realize that it’s been a hoax all along. There was nothing there to fear. You made it all up.
This is what I realized when I got into my first fight. Then I got into more fights just for shits and giggles.
You can apply this attitude to going after what you want. It’s not going to come to you. You have to run through a few obstacles that you supposedly fear.
If you want growth, you have to step out side your comfort zone. Outside our comfort zone there are many things that we fear.
“we suffer more often in imagination than in reality”Seneca
But understand that there isn’t anything to fear but fear itself.