Everyone has a different version of you running through their minds at any given moment. Their assessments of you are wholly inaccurate in comparison to who you are when you’re by yourself.
My brother and I was on our way to the airport. We were going to Jamaica for a few weeks to celebrate the grand opening of my fathers new night club, “Fiction.”
It was an exciting time. Joseph Sikora,(Tommy from Power) was going to be there, I was going to watch the Mayweather vs Mcgregor fight right before the celebration, it was going to be a great trip.
My brother said: “You know what I like about you? Despite the fact that you do what you do(referring to my job at the time as a package handler for UPS), you can move well in any room we are in when we hang out with dad and his friends.”
I said: “That’s because I literally don’t care what anyone thinks of me. I am who I am. The way I behave isn’t predicated one some socialites opinion of me.”
“So you don’t care what anybody thinks about you? That’s impossible. Even me?” My brother asked
“Nope. Not you. Not my mom, not dad. Not my girlfriend. No one.” I responded.
“That’s impossible. You have to care what your family think.” He said
“No, actually I don’t. I’ll explain…”
I explained to him that I don’t care what others think of me for two reasons:
- I don’t want to resent them for listening to their idea of how I should live my life.
- They don’t truly know me.
Let’s start with the first point.
If you allow other people’s opinions to penetrate your mental, all you’re doing is giving yourself reason to resent them in the future.
Many people, especially family, are well intentioned when they try to share advice. It may seem as if it comes off as malicious but they are only operating from their level of education about the world and YOU. Which leads me to my next point.
People don’t truly know who I am. They don’t know who you are and you don’t know who they are.
“It is unrealistc to expect people to see you as you see yourself.” — Epictetus
We are all different versions of ourselves depending on who we are around.
But we are our true selves when we’re by ourselves. People aren’t intimately connected with that version of us. No matter how much advice they try to give you, no matter how much they try to insult you, they are doing it from an incorrect assumption of you.
This is why I neither get flattered over a compliment nor insulted from taunts and teases.
At the end of the day, they don’t know me. They also don’t know you.
So why do you care what others think about you?